Apr. 6, 2012; Phoenix, AZ, USA; San Francisco Giants pitcher Brian Wilson prior to the game against the Arizona Diamondbacks during opening day at Chase Field. The Diamondbacks defeated the Giants 5-4. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

How Sick To Your Stomach Does Brian Wilson (Blackbeard) Becoming A Dodger Make You?


The trade deadline is approaching, and the rumors are flying. The Dodgers are rumored to be in on a few guys, but as we have discussed before, it’s unlikely the Dodgers make a trade unless they are blown away with an offer they can’t refuse. With the team on a historic hot streak, and the weak trade market the Dodgers are more than likely to stand pat. However the Dodgers are targeting a certain player to sign, not trade for. It’s a pitcher. A relief pitcher, of the bearded variety. Oh lord, please tell me it’s not Brian Wilson……Doh! I guess I have to address this sooner or later.

According to a tweet from Bob Nightengale, the Dodgers are the front-runners to sign Brain Wilson, also known to us as Blackbeard. I can feel my stomach churning already.

*Update* According to a tweet from Yahoo’s Tim Brown, the deal is official. Wilson is a Dodger. The deal is of the Major League variety. The Dodgers will stash him in the minors until they decide they want to use him. And they wouldn’t need to bump anyone from the roster. I guess I can live with it. Pretty gross though. *According to Brown, Wilson will report to Rancho and pitch with the Quakes for two weeks before joining the Dodgers* Double Yikes! it is a big league deal. By the time he does join the Dodgers rosters will be close to expanding anyways.

Now we already knew the Dodgers had been scouting him over the last few weeks, but now it appears the Dodgers may actually sign him. Kind of makes me sick to my stomach. As a matter of fact, it really did make Stacie sick. She was too sick to write this article, so I had to do it. That’s how ill the thought of Blackbeard in a Dodger uniform makes us.

Would You really want this nutjob pitching for the Dodgers?-Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports

Could Wilson help the Dodgers? Possibly I guess. The 31 year old right hander was originally drafted by the Giants in the 24th round of the 2003 draft. Wilson made his MLB debut with the Giants in 2006, and has been a three time all-star accross seven seasons, all in San Francisco. Wilson has saved 171 career games, has an ERA of 3.21, and a whiff per nine rate of 9.6. But the former closer is coming off of Tommy John surgery. It remains to be seen how effective he would be.

His best season came in 2010, when he saved 48 games, posted an ERA of 1.81 and whiffed 93 in 74 innings pitched. After he appeared in 57 games in 2011, in which he recorded 36 saves, and posted a 1.4 WHIP, Wilson pitched in just two games in 2012, before blowing out his arm in April of that season. He had to undergo Tommy John surgery. he hasn’t pitched since.

According to reports, scouts have said that Wilson looks almost fully recovered from the surgery. The reports indicate his velocity is basically back to normal. Wilson throws four pitches mainly, a hard four-seam fastball, a cut-fastball, a two-seamer, and a slider. He throws the fastballs the majority of the time. Wilson is a power pitcher, but has a propensity for wildness. He has a little over 2-1 strikeout to walk ratio in his career.

We all know that Blackbeard has been very flamboyant over the years. According to reports, he wants to pitch in Los Angeles. Lord help us all. He had also been still in discussions with the Giants about returning to the Bay. Several other teams were also looking at him, including the Dbacks. No kidding. Despite being an utter nutjob, he was pretty dominant for about three seasons. Could he regain some of that form?

The Dodgers are trying to improve their bullpen any way that they can. There’s nothing wrong with exploring all available options, but do we really need Blackbeard?

I suppose if he is fully recovered and could be effective and if he can help the Dodgers, I would be able to live with it I guess. Carlos Marmol was one thing. At least he didn’t have complete reconstructive surgery on his arm, and he’s not an ex-Giant who acted like a tool for years.

The Dodgers may even want to ink him on a minor league deal, that way they can force him to make several minor league rehab outings to determine how ready he is to come back and pitch in the majors. After all it has been over a year since he’s pitched.

One thing is certain. If Wilson really does want to pitch for the Dodgers, then he is going to have to, and I mean have to chop off that god awful disgusting scraggily moonshiner’s beard. Seriously, bic that thing until it is no more. We’ll keep you posted on this.

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Tags: Blackbeard Brian Wilson Los Angeles Dodgers

  • Sarah Lee

    I just about peed my pants laughing reading this article. You, sir, are hilarious… the topic, not so much. Brian Wilson… a Dodger? {{I think I died a little inside.}}

  • Melissa Felkins

    I’m definitely sick. I didn’t want to see him as a Giant again, but ugh, in Dodger blue just made me throw up a bit in my mouth.

    • LasordasLair

      So you wouldn’t want him to resign with the Giants? Interesting.

      • Melissa Felkins

        Well, I actually would be just okay with it, in setup role. But I wasn’t sitting around hoping for it.

        He gave me legitimate heart problems in SF. I mean, he’s a DB, and if he’s on your team, you can tolerate it. If he’s on your rival team, he’s public enemy #1.

        • LasordasLair

          Im just curious as to how effective you think he would be?

          • Melissa Felkins

            Taking my Giants fan emotions out of it, I’d say it’s risky, but if he’s coming cheap, maybe worth the risk. I hear he’s throwing 90-93….I doubt he’s going to be his old self, and if he’s even slightly worse, then whatever inning he’s pitching could get tricky. No lead is safe with BW on the mound…ever. Even though he typically always pulls it out, it’s a 1 out, 2 out, load the bases, 3-2 count, foul ball, foul ball, foul ball, then strike or ground out.

            It may also depend on how is location is. I think that will be the biggest question, since we already know he doesn’t (yet) have the heat he used to have.

          • LasordasLair

            You’re not inspring confidence Melissa. How bad is his command? Would he shave his beard? Cause I can’t look at that thing.

          • Melissa Felkins

            oh, i think his command was fine…i just don’t know how it is NOW…2 Tommy John surgeries?

            As for the beard, hate it too. But unless he makes a publicity event out of it, then i’d say it’s there to stay.

            Good, I don’t want to inspire confidence :)

          • LasordasLair

            Come on admit it. You loved his beard when he was saving games for the Giants in the playoffs. Come on now, just admit it. His beard was your guilty pleasure wasn’t it?

  • 234f

    This doesn’t make me sick at all. Idiotic Dodger fans who don’t want whats best for the team so that they can win, do. He would be a great signing for the dodgers.

    • LasordasLair

      Well we don;t know that yet. Relief pitching is volitale. And a pitcher coming off tommy John surgery that hasnt pitched in over a year may not be the best idea. We dont know how effective he’ll be.

      • Quasimodo

        I’m okay with it Scott. Actually I’m a bit better than okay with it. While there still may be some unseen downside the positives are there even more. Firstly he was gotten without giving up prospects. Then from what I understand, he’s only signed for 2013. It appears to me that Wilson gave Colletti an offer he couldn’t refuse. He’s made it clear that he wanted to be with Dodgers all along, and that should be estimated in.

  • Stacie Wheeler

    This is just wrong on so many levels. How many fallen from grace closers can the Dodgers stockpile? Last time I saw Wilson in a video his shirt was covered in stains and his beard was grossly gnormous.

    • LasordasLair

      ughhhhh god, ughhhhhh so gross

  • David Tichauer

    I love this signing. Giant or not, he’s just an awesome guy to have around a clubhouse. Think Puig helped with that chemistry? Captain Blue Beard should have the same effect.

    • LasordasLair

      LMAO @ captain Blue Bleard. It is a laughter of sadness. Well I guess if he can help the Dodgers. But it still feels wrong, and dirty. I feel dirty.

      • David Tichauer

        Admittedly, I do too…a little. Nothing a little beard shampoo can’t fix!