Enjoy pitching on the surface of the sun Birdman-Jim Cowsert-USA TODAY Sports

Have Fun Pitching On The Equator Greinke!


Let me present you a scenario if you will. Hypothetically speaking, play along with me. You’re Zack Greinke. You’ve won a Cy Young award. You’re one of the best starting pitchers in Baseball, and you’re the top starting pitcher on the free agent market. You’re about to become one of the richest pitchers in Baseball history. And you look like an angry bird. Does this situation sound familiar to you? So if you’re Birdman, what do you do?

Of course it does, it’s the birdman situation. It appears as though the Dodgers need to move on from this guy. Just waiting around for Greinke to make up his mind is going to ruin the Dodgers chances of getting anyone.

Jon Heyman of CBS Sports is reporting that the Rangers appear to be in the lead on the Greinke sweepstakes. The Angels appear to be out of it, since they just signed Joe Blanton. (Ha! Bumton! Giggle, snicker, Giggle) So far it looks like Greinke prefers to pitch for Texas. Dylan Hernandez of the L.A. Times wonders whether the Dodgers refusal to hand out no-trade clauses could have something to do with it. I guess that’s possible. It could be difficult for the Dodgers to gain any leverage if they are unwilling to offer up a no-trade clause. Hernandez goes on to report that Stan Kasten has had a history of not giving out no-trade clauses even before he came over to the Dodgers. So be it then. But is that really the reason Greinke hasn’t signed with the Dodgers yet?

The truth may hurt, but it is what it is. Greinke just doesn’t want to pitch for the Dodgers. If he had wanted to sign with the Dodgers, he would have done so already. According to our sources, the Dodger front office, feels the same way, and isn’t very optimistic about him signing with the Blue. Most believe he will sign with the Rangers, for possibly 30 million dollars less than what the Dodgers would offer. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong and he will finally sign with us? It’s possible, but not looking very likely.

So why does Greinke prefer the Rangers over the Dodgers? Who knows. We know his wife was a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and likes the Midwest. Whatever. Meanwhile the Dodgers sit and do nothing, but wait for Birdman. The team is far apart in their talks with South Korean lefty Ryu Hyun-jin. The Dodgers have until Sunday to sign Ryu, or he goes back into the posting system, and the Dodgers are refunded their 25.7 million dollar bid. The free agent market is very thin. Other than Anibal Sanchez, and Kyle Lohse, it’s slim pickens.

It doesn’t look like Greinke will sign with the Dodgers.-Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

The truth is, Greinke just doesn’t want to pitch for the Dodgers. He prefers to pitch for Texas, and that’s his perogative. It’s lame, but it’s his choice. The thing is, the Dodgers can’t keep waiting around for him. By doing so it’s ruining their chances of getting anyone. I know it’s going to take patience to build a championship roster, and the GBM isn’t going to be able to do it in only a year. It’s going to take a few years to develop. However, just sitting around waiting for Birdman is stupid. It’s time to move on. Because here we are, it’s December seventh, the winter meetings are over, and the Dodgers still have not signed anyone. They haven’t traded for anyone. Basically, they have done nothing. (Except for signing Brandon League). It’s possible the Dodgers may not sign anyone, and will go with who they have. They do have six starting pitchers under contract for 2013. Unfortunately, Chad Billingsley may still need Tommy John surgery on his right elbow, even though the team says otherwise. Aaron Harang is mediocre at best, Chris Capuano falls flat in the second half, and there is no way that lefty veteran Ted Lilly can stay healthy for an entire season.

A bird on a wire-Photo courtesy of wallpapers4me.com

Regardless, the Dodgers continue to wait. The days go by, and we get closer to spring training. The Dodgers keep waiting. Waiting and waiting on a Birdman. The truth is it doesn’t matter how much money the Dodgers have. If someone doesn’t want to play for the Dodgers, then no amount of money is going to change their minds. It’s not like Greinke isn’t going to get a huge contract from someone. The Dodgers may be able to outbid every other team, but they can’t force anyone to sign with them. Every player has the right to play for who they want when they’re a free agent. Greinke wants to pitch for Texas. So be it.

So fine then. Have fun Birdman. Have fun melting in the equator like heat in Arlington next summer. You might as well pitch on the surface of the sun or something. Enjoy melting away in the Texas heat Birdman. The Dodgers need to move on from Zack Greinke and look at other options. It’s time to explore other choices.

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Tags: Los Angeles Dodgers Zack Greinke

  • Mason Carroll

    Your writing style is repetitive, crude and it stinks of sour grapes. (Which is strange, considering he hasn’t signed anywhere.) Don’t be a sore loser/winner. The Rangers have gone a long, long time without an ace and frankly, up until now, have been overlooked by most free agents and the baseball world as a whole. It happens.

    And the Texas heat isn’t that bad. Ask your ace, Kershaw. He’s from Dallas.

    • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

      You guys are hilarious. And you guys stink of bitterness. Honestly I don’t care where Birdman signs. He can play for whomever he chooses. It’s not my fault the guy looks like a bird. I do wish he would hurry up and sign already so the Dodgers can move on with their lives. He sure is taking his sweet time. I mean we would love to have him, but hey it’s a free country. By the way guys, the Texas heat is not a living thing, so you can’t “pick on it”. And thank you, but I’m aware of where Kershaw is from. By the way take a little chil pill. Did losing back to back world series rob you of your sense of humor? Try having a little fun with life and your writing. Ya know, if you guys write at all.

      • dubinsky

        hey, you really know what you’re talking about.

        • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

          All sources, and just about everyone had reported Greinke was going to sign with Texas, or that Texas was in the lead. Glad they were all wrong though. Serves me right for listening to these rumors. I mostly wrote this out of frustration, because the whole story seemed to be dragging out for weeks at the expense of the Dodgers. It all worked out in the end though. Thats the hot stove season for you.

          • dubinsky

            you might have given weight to Greinke’s intellect.

            no reason for him to hurry rather than wait for the best offers, but once the choice was between two good teams, wh wouldn’t he choose to pitch in a park (and league) where his ERA was likely to be about 3.00 rather than down in Arlington where it would likely be about 4.00

      • Guest

        I’m not even close to bitter. I’m simply pointing out that you repeat yourself. Over. And over. And over. And over you hit me where it hurts. You mentioned the fact that my team lost two straight World Series -and- the fact that I don’t write for a living. Congrats on joining the legion of terrible Internet writers that “write” for a living

        • Mason Carroll

          I’m not even close to bitter. I’m simply pointing out that you repeat
          yourself. Over. And over. And over. And over again. Ouch, you hit me where it hurts.
          You mentioned the fact that my team lost two straight World Series -and-
          the fact that I don’t write for a living. Congrats on joining the
          legion of terrible Internet writers that “write” for a living, friend. And Yeah, it sucks that my team lost back to back…but what the hell. Never been there before, so two straight seasons of actually being there sounds good to me.

          • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

            You’re taking this article way too seriously. I was joking. Don’t get your pantyhose in a wad. I actually like the Rangers. They’re a classy franchise. So no disrespect there. I”m just saying if you’re going to be critical of my writing style, that’s fine, but you don’t have to be mean about it. I can take some constructive criticism, but you were being pretty nasty, especially considering you don’t write. Yes you’re right I tend to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It’s jsut something I picked up from my Mom, she repeats herself all the time. And I will keep doing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. (sung to the tune of George Harrison’s “This song is just six words long”). And so I put in a solo I put in a solo, put in a solo here…..Have a sense of humor. Baseball is supposed to be fun.

          • Mason Carroll

            Fair enough. I apologize. Congrats to the Dodgers though on signing Greinke. Just hoping that Clayton will give the Rangers their day when he hits FA and comes back to his home town. :P

          • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

            No worries, the Rangers are a good team, theyre going to be competitive for a while. Two AL pennnants are nothing to scoff at. But im sorry we can’t allow Mr. Kershaw to ever leave.

        • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

          Lighten up and have some fun

    • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

      Buc up guys, there is always Kyle Lohse

  • http://www.facebook.com/andySmatus Andy Matus

    You sound like a baby who just had his bottle taken away,not to mention also like a sore loser.What a cliché picking on the Texas heat.There’s a reason why he’d rather play for a contender than a highly overrated team.Now go back and continue sucking on your bottle.

    • http://twitter.com/LasordasLair LasordasLair

      You guys are hilarious. And you guys stink of bitterness. Honestly I don’t care where Birdman signs. He can play for whomever he chooses. Like its my fault the guy looks like a bird. I do wish he would hurry up and sign already so the Dodgers can move on with their lives. He sure is taking his sweet time. I mean we would love to have him, but hey it’s a free country. By the way guys, the Texas heat is not a living thing, so you can’t “pick on it”. And thank you, but I’m aware of where Kershaw is from. By the way take a little chil pill. Did losing back to back world series rob you of your sense of humor? Try having a little fun with life and your writing. Ya know, if you guys write at all.