This guy is probably available in most leagues

Dodgers are Fantasy World




Most fantasy rankings put Kemp ahead of Ethier at the beginning of the season…but I went deep into the sabermetrics, the rumor file, talked to a guy who knows a guy and I took Andre instead.  For the first few months of the season, I was Rain Man.  Kemp was doing his thang, but Ethier was rollin’ like Cheech and Chong.




In April:

Ethier:  .385 average, 40 hits, 16 RBI’s, 3 HR’s

Kemp:  .362 average, 38 hits, 19 RBI’s, 6 HR’s


Pretty close, but the hit streak was in full-effect and the bump in HR’s by Kemp was evened out by the slightly better average and the fact that I knew what I was going to get from him night over night.


In May

Ethier:  .363 average, 23 hits, 10 RBI’s, 2 HR’s

Kemp:  .253 average, 25 hits, 25 RBI’s, 7 HR’s


RBI’s and HR’s started to separate, but Andre’s average was legit, hits relatively neck and neck…I’m still feeling pretty smart.


Then Kemp gets a rocket up his ass and Andre gets sent down to the minors…OK, maybe it wasn’t that bad (plus I had Bautista balancing my lineup) but here’s about the time where I step up and say how bloody idiotic I am.



Ethier:  .306 average, 126 hits, 51 RBI’s, 10 HR’s

Kemp:   .317 average, 132 hits, 84 RBI’s , 26 HR’s


Damn.  Check out ESPN’s top rated fantasy player based on some ACTUAL sabermetrics – and it’s my boy Kemp, not the Spanish Assassin.  Bautista can’t balance out this vs. chumps like LOCK DOWN and his squad of Kemp, Fielder and Adrian Gonzo…truth be told I have slipped to the middle of the pack, but I won’t let that rest on Dre’s shoulder’s, it’s more about the donkeys at the bottom of my lineup.


At any rate, even though I’ve struggled to find something good to write about during the first half of the year and even though we’re a WHOPPING 10 games back of the Gigantes, even though we traded away our best prospects for a couple of street tacos – there are a Few Good Men left for your fantasy rosters.  In order of importance:



  • Kemp & Ethier – see above
  • Hon. Mention for J. Carroll in average only leagues (are those still around?), he is the Brett Butler of ’11.  OK, he’s a good hitter for average – and possible nominee for journeyman of the year



  • Kershaw 13-5 with a 2.79 ERA and a second-only to Verlander (great company) 184 strikeouts, I say dump the long-haired Weaver, shave off Beckett’s 1/2 goatee, get rid of the soft and squishy Hamels and Lincecum and pick up the lefty flamethrower with the sweat soaked bill who doesn’t know he’s on a crap team and is determined to build a legacy and a spot for himself alongside the yet-to-be-established 55 out in the wall of fame (why isn’t Hershey out there yet???)
  • Guerra – 26 innings pitched and an ERA of 1.69, guaranteed he’s not on everyone’s radar and I know how much great pitching factors in to most fantasy leagues.  Find him, drop your slackers and pick this kid up NOW
  • Kuroda – not as bad as the record shows, as punctuated by his 3.01 ERA and this guy is throwing A LOT (146 innings) and he’s been pretty solid in his last 10 starts.
  • Hon. Mention for Billingsly because he tries real hard
  • Cliff Lee just took Lilly deep in the 7th…I might rank him one of the best pitchers for the first 4 innings of a game, after that, he’s about as consistent as LeBron in the playoffs.  Vinny said that Lee hopped off the bus down at the Ravine and said, “I’m gonna hit one out of the stadium.”  Not quite Clfff, but closer than we’ve come tonight.



  • Dee Gordon – betting on the Come, might be worth something in leagues that recognize fielding % or keeper leagues
  • Aaron Miles – would just be fun to say the midget mullet was on your team
  • Broxton – might help you out at the end of the season – probably a stretch, but if you’re coming to me for fantasy advice you’re strrreeeeetttttccccchhing already


That’s about it…but it could be worse, you could have to field this team in the real world.




PS – Dodgers down 2-0 in the bottom of the 7th, I’ll take the under.

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